Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Death Race review!

Posted by Todd Brown at 11:24am.

Posted in Film & DVD Reviews , Cult, Action, USA & Canada.

Ladies and gentlemen, the race is over. The competition is won. The arrival of Paul W.S. Anderson’s Death Race - even though it comes so very early in the year - has put a conclusive end to the race for the 2008 Razzie Awards. Worst film? Worst director? Worst screenplay? Worst actress? Not only will Death Race take all of these categories but the competition won’t even be close. There is quite simply no chance whatsoever that any other film will arrive on the scene to rival this - the latest in a long, ling line of very, very bad films from Anderson - for if anyone should even attempt to create another film at this level of ineptitude within the rest of the calendar year I have no doubt that the universe would spontaneously implode in protest of having to play host to such an indignity. This, people, is a Very Bad Film.

On the surface, a remake of the Roger Corman-produced cult flick would seem apropos, even timely right now. Death Race is a title primed to both exploit and comment upon the current craze for ‘extreme’ - read, ‘hyper violent’ - sport and the society that consumes it but there is neither the will nor the brain at work here to offer any sort of commentary whatsoever, nor the skill to properly exploit it. What do we have? Jason Statham is Jensen Aimes, a near future steel worker and former race car driver thrown out of work when the mill he works at shuts down, leaving him unable to provide for his wife and infant daughter. It’s not like he has long to worry about that, though, because the very same day Aimes is thrown out of work masked men invade his home, kill his wife, and leave Aimes unconscious with a bloody knife in his hand. Six months later he has a life term in prison.

But prisons are different in the future. They have become privately run, for-profit organizations. Rehabilitation? What’s that? The prisoners are fodder for extreme sports, corpses-in-waiting destined to battle it out for massive pay-per-view online audiences with potential release dangled in front of their eyes as a prize should they succeed multiple times in the gladiatorial combats. And the most successful of these games, the highest rated sport, is the Death Race - a three day, multi stage race run by prisoners in cars heavily modified to include steel armor and heavy weaponry. Hmm ... new guy in prison happnes to be a driver, and the next Death Race is just days away, there couldn’t be a conspiracy at play here, could there? Of course there is! The prison warden orchestrated the killing of Aimes’ wife and his subsequent conviction, needing him to replace Frankenstein, a popular masked driver killed (though nobody knows that) in the last race. Bloodshed ensues.

For a brief, shining moment I actually though Death Race may end up being a servicable B-flick on the strength of it’s cast - arguably the best Anderson has ever had to work with. Sure, Statham aint a great actor, and he never has been, but he’s a charismatic guy, easily able to chew his way through this stuff. Throw the dependable Joan Allen and brilliant Deadwood baddie Ian McShane into the key support roles and this could actually work, right? Oh, hell no. The film fails on so many levels it’s hard to keep count.

The blame, first of all, should rest at the feet of Paul W.S. Anderson. His direction is horrible, with the exception of a couple of admittedly stellar shots the car race scenes are actually kind of cluttered and boring, several normally solid bit players turn in career worst performances and the Anderson-written script is laughably, horribly bad. We like to joke about plot holes big enough to drive a truck through but this film has plot holes that people LITERALLY drive actual trucks through with nobody so much as batting an eyelash. And the dialog ... oh, the dialog ... but more on that later ... Anderson wears a LOT of hats on this film and, without belaboring the point, it is very safe to say that the work he turns in for every single role he is supposed to fill is appallingly below standard.

The blame, second of all, should rest at the feet of the cast. Not Statham so much - he’ll brush this one off easily enough - or McShane, who is absolutely the only performer to rise above the level of the script he’s given to turn in something approaching a compelling performance, but all the rest are horrible. Tyrese Gibson hits an all time low as the primary on-track villain. Natalie Martinez as Statham’s navigator / love interest? Utterly abysmal every time she opens her mouth, but honestly she was cast for her cleavage not her ability to deliver a line and the cleavage is just fine, thanks, so it’s hard to fault her too much. But Joan Allen? Oh, Joan, what were you thinking? Did you not read the script when they sent it to you? When we get to hear Morgan Freeman cuss in Wanted it ends up being a high point of the film because Freeman so clearly is having a blast playing so far against type, he delivers the line so incredibly well, and it fits within the world Wanted has created. But when Allen cautions Statham, “Fuck with me and we’ll find out who shits on the sidewalk.” the response is just, WHAT? What the hell? What does that even MEAN? Never mind that the delivery’s clumsy, that’s just NONSENSE! And nonsense is never, ever bad-ass. Oh, Joan, I know I can’t blame you for writing it, but you agreed to say it and you really, really should have known better.

So, the film’s horrible. That leaves the question of whether this is a so-bad-its-good sort of film. Well, once the first openly mocking laugh burst out about half way through the screening I attended the crowd loosened up noticeably and got into the jeering spirit. Did we have a good time? Yes, yes we did. But, importantly, none of us had paid to be there. And, honestly, I can’t imagine any paying, sober audience being happy about having to sit through this.

Monday, August 18, 2008

1) Tropic Thunder- $26 million

2) The Dark Knight- $16.8 million

3) Star Wars: The Clone Wars- $15.5 million

4) Mirrors- $11 million

5) Pineapple Express- $10 million

Just missed- The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor- $8.6 million

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Star Wars: The Clone Wars review!

Does the new animated movie bring justice to one of the best series of films of all time?

I'll say this before I begin...I'm a FAN of the Star Wars franchise...not a FAN BOY of them by any means. I'll be the first person (among many, I'm sure) to tell you that the Phantom Menace completely sucked, I'm talking probably as bad as Spider Man 3 sucked. So this review is not biased at all, nor will I attempt to promote the movie because of my fan-ism.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars is not must see material by any means and is probably only reserved for the hardest of die hard fans. The movie didn't even start out with the usual "Star Wars" theme and scrolling dialogue, which was pretty disappointing...but it makes sense because Warner Bros. instead of 20th Century Fox, produced the film.

The film is not all bad, it just lacks material that makes a movie a "Star Wars" movie. There are no really great lightsaber battles, no amazement that anything can pop off at any given moment like the previous 6 films...if you're like me and don't count the Phantom Menace into the trilogies...previous 5 movies had going for them.

I blame George Lucas mainly for this lack of material problem he put himself in...there is a bunch of space between "Revenge of the Sith" and "A New Hope" that he could have created a new epic (an animated epic, but an epic no less), but he came out flat. The animated series (short lived) the Clone Wars was done brilliantly following "The Clone Wars" live action movie and bringing it up to the very beginning of "Revenge of the Sith". They really try to cover a new story in this chapter with this movie but fail in doing so as the movie pretty much clashes with the animated TV show that was on for a brief bit...but mind you, 75% of the Star Wars fan base probably never saw an episode of the TV series so Lucas gets a mulligan for trying to hash out the same story line as before. He tried to pull a fast one and probably succeeded.

So right off the bat we know that nothing bad can happen to Obi-Wan (played by, James Arnold Taylor) or Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader (Matt Latner).

This animated feature is done in almost complete cartoonish-computer animation (which gives it the made for TV feel). The writers also try to strike gold by giving Anakin an apprentice, Ahsoka Tano (Ashley Eckstein), whose attitude and respect...or lack there of...make her feel like she should be on the Mellinium Falcon with Solo than apart of Jedi.

Anakin and Ahsoka are set off on an official outing to find the missing/kidnapped son of Jabba the Hutt. If they do not find Hutt Jr. in time the Trade Federation will seize control of an important trade route in space. In case you're lost in the completely mind bending and diabolical plot...do not fret because the movie repeats this about a dozen times throughout it's course. You're bound to catch on the fourth or fifth time.

So there you have it...that's the movie...loop after loop...Star Wars: The Clone Wars. It just seems the writers didn't know what type of animated movie they wanted to make...whether it was for the "fan boys"of the franchise to tie them over until, maybe...maybe, they make another movie. Or was it for the younger audience, trying to recruit more "fan boys" to the cause? Either way, it's a failure to what "Star Wars" is.

I will mention a few positives though...the voicing done by the character sound very close to the real characters who played Obi-Wan and Anakin in the trilogies.

I realize what Lucas is trying to do with this movie...lead it up to a new animated series that will be on TV but....why make your loyal fans pay to see what you're going to be putting on television for free?

1.5 out of 5 stars...

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Bark Marley Reviews Tropic Thunder!

I'll just preface this review with....

If you are easily offended, don't enjoy gore, or don't enjoy racial jokes....don't go see this movie...

with that said, let's get started...

The opening scenes of Tropic Thunder are probably some of the funniest I've seen in a long time in a movie...but there in lies the problem...the rest of the movie, while still being hilarious doesn't really live up to the opening statement. It leaves you thinking that the next scene is going to bust your gut...but it just never really happens like it does in the first 10 minutes of the film.

The film opens up introducing us to the Actors....and I don't mean Ben Stiller, Jack Black, and Robert Downey Jr....I'm talking about the actors they portray in the movie...Tugg Speedman (Stiller), Jeff Portnoy (Black), and Kirk Lazarus (Downey Jr.).

There are fake trailers to the different movies each "actor" has coming out in the near future...they open like Entertainment Style news clips. There's even an advertisement/commercial for an energy called "Booty Sweat" promoted by Alpa Cino (Brandon T. Jackson). Tugg Speedman is an action star who acted his way to an oscar win by playing a mentally retarded boy in a movie called "Simple Jack". Kirk Lazarus, who makes a career out of winning oscars for his different acting portrayals, the guy who is the more serious about his acting than the other two. Jeff Portnoy, who's character must have been based off of Jack Black in real life, is an out of control comedy actor who has made some movies that would make Eddie Murphy look like a comedic genius (the trailers are quite hilarious though).

We learn, very quickly, that all of the actors involved are spoiled beyond belief by their fans, media, and people that work with them. They are all signed on to do a movie called "Tropic Thunder" (yes, the film within the film is titled the same)...a Vietnam movie being shot in, you guessed it, Vietnam. The director is hard pressed to get all of his "A" List actors to Vietnam on time because they are already behind schedule even though they really haven't begun shooting...perhaps a plot hole?

In steps Nick Nolte, who the movie's experience is really based off of...he's been brought to the set as an adviser for the actors. He has the bright idea to drop the actors in the middle of the Jungle and leave them there, sort of an experience builder. What Nolte and the rest of the film's crew doesn't know is that they just dropped the actors into an area of Vietnam controlled by a violent drug lord who doesn't really like people dropping into his country unannounced.

The actors (if you don't know by now who I'm talking about, just stop reading) soon realize that this is not just another scene shoot, and that they are fighting for their lives and have to start shooting real bullets.

Right, so I'm not a huge fan of the "stupid-comedies" ala Will Ferrell movies, and this movie, while it has it's share of "silly" moments...it never gets down to the stupid level, which makes it a real success in my eyes. Perhaps the funniest thing about the movie is that the actors (the real ones, not the ones in the movie) are pretty much making fun of themselves...the exception being Ben Stiller who is pretty much making fun of Action Movie stars...because Ben Stiller has never done an action movie in his life.

This movies has some pretty heavy gore in spots, it will take you aback if you're not ready for it (see one scene where Stiller is holding a head). Ben Stiller is pretty funny, while Jack Black plays his annoying self he gets better as the movie carries on, and eventually he became my favorite comedian in the movie. Without a doubt though, Robert Downey Jr...who has seemed to resurrect his career this summer into one of the premier actors today, steals the show (just as he did Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang and Ironman). He's the white guy who undergoes a surgical operation to darken his skin so he can play a black man in the movie....comedic genius at it's finest.

Some of the funniest scenes come when Downey Jr's character, playing the black man, thinking he really IS black interacting with a real black man...hilarious. Other actors who make appearances are Tom Cruise (who is genuinely funny), Matthew McConaughey (really funny), and Toby Macguire (pretty funny). Cruise and McConaughey play rivaling agents for the actors. They don't have huge amounts of screen time but they make every second worth the money they were payed.

With the FAIL comedies of this summer...Tropic Thunder easily takes the cake of best comedy of the year. It will even likely knock The Dark Knight off of it's perch as the #1 movie in the nation.

Go see it.

4.5 out of 5 stars.

Tropic Thunder Review!

Review by Steve Rhodes who writes for Internet Reviews


Uneven and needlessly gross, TROPIC THUNDER still manages to elicit enough really big laughs to make it an easy film to recommend. Directed by Ben Stiller, it is a movie that is happiest when it is way, way, way over the top, which is where it operates most of the time.

The movie starts with a commercial for Booty Sweat energy drink followed by three great trailers: Scorcher VI, starring Tugg Speedman (Ben Stiller), The Fatties Part 2, starring Jeff Portnoy (Jack Black), and Satan's Alley, starring Kirk Lazarus (Robert Downey Jr.).

TROPIC THUNDER, with an Escher print of a plot, is about the making of a Vietnam War movie. This movie-within-a-movie is directed by Damien Cockburn (Steve Coogan) and stars the three actors from the above opening trailers.

Director Cockburn is losing control of his cast and crew as they film the movie on location in Vietnam. After a four million dollar explosion is set off without the cameras rolling, the director is called on the carpet by a take-no-prisoners studio exec named Les Grossman. In one of his best performances in years, Tom Cruise is absolutely hilarious as Grossman. Every time Cruise is on the screen, he is electric.

Matthew McConaughey is almost as good as Cruise. Playing Rick Peck, Speedman's tenacious agent, McConaughey does a spoof of Cruise's part in JERRY MAGUIRE. While everyone in the jungle is trying to stay alive, Peck, back in Hollywood, is the only man willing to go up against the vicious Grossman. Peck has discovered that Speedman has not gotten the TiVo that is specifically called for in his contract, so Peck is ready to move heaven and earth to ensure that Speedman has his own digital video recorder in the jungle.

The movie's big twist is that the director and the studio are so unhappy with the cast that they redesign the project so that it is a reality-based picture with hidden cameras all over the jungle. The jungle turns out to be infested with gun-toting opium farmers who don't realize that anyone is trying to make a movie. It all gets wackier and wackier as the story progresses.

Downey is terrific as Lazarus, but he gets so much into his character as a jive-talking black soldier that much of his dialog is indecipherable. What you can hear is quite funny. The best line comes when he explains to another actor that he stays completely in character until he has finished the commentary track for the DVD release. He also talks at length about the repression he has suffered as a black man, much to the annoyance of a fellow actor who is actually black, rather than just playing one.

One of Speedman's best episodes comes when he accidentally kills a panda. When he tries to explain it over the cell phone to his agent, his agent assumes that Speedman must have killed a prostitute called Amanda. Ah, what trouble a bad cell connection can get you into.

All of the actors are good. Only Black, who never does much other than fart, is something of a disappointment.

What the story does best is to ridicule actors and their methods. "My body may be shackled, but my mind wanders free," Speedman tells the heavily armed drug lords when they capture him. They think he's nuts, which he is.

But it falls to Cruise's character to really "explain" things to us. Speaking of Speedman, he tells his agent that Speedman is "a white knight heading for a black hole. That's physics. The universe is like that. You've got to get used to it."

TROPIC THUNDER runs 1:47. It is rated R for "pervasive language including sexual references, violent content and drug material" and would be acceptable for older teenagers.

My son Jeffrey, age 19, gave the film just **, although he admitted he laughed hard in parts and might like it better the second time he saw it. He said it was too disgusting, too profane and too hard to understand, especially Downey's dialog. He liked Cruise's character best. Jeffrey's girlfriend Yasmin, also 19, gave it ** 1/2. She thought Stiller was awesome as usual, and she liked Black's performance. But she thought the film was too gross and gruesome, and, overall, she just didn't like it much.

The film opens nationwide in the United States on Wednesday, August 13, 2008. In the Silicon Valley, it will be showing at the AMC theaters, the Century theaters and the Camera Cinemas.

Web: http://www.InternetReviews.com
Email: Steve.Rhodes@InternetReviews.com

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

New Theater Releases 8/15/2008


Tropic Thunder- Ben Stiller, Robert Downey Jr., Jack Black
Through a series of freak occurrences, a group of actors shooting a big-budget war movie are forced to become the soldiers they are portraying.











Star Wars: The Clone Wars (Animated)
As the Clone Wars sweep through the galaxy, the heroic Jedi Knights struggle to maintain order and restore peace.

















Mirrors- Kiefer Sutherland, Paula Patton
An ex-cop and his family are the target of an evil force that is using mirrors as a gateway into their home.


Vicky Christina Barcelona- Scarlett Johansson, Javier Bardem, Penelope Cruz
Two girlfriends on a summer holiday in Spain become enamored with the same painter, unaware that his ex-wife, with whom he has a tempestuous relationship, is about to re-enter the picture.

Fly Me To The Moon (Animated)-
Three young houseflies stow away aboard the Apollo 11 flight to the moon.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

The Dark Knight Still on Top!

`Dark Knight' stays on top with $26M

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Batman was higher than Hollywood's newest pot heads.

"The Dark Knight" took in $26 million to finish as the No. 1 movie for the fourth straight weekend, beating the stoner comedy "Pineapple Express," which opened in second place with $22.4 million, according to studio estimates Sunday.

The weekend haul lifted the Warner Bros. Batman sequel to No. 3 on the all-time domestic box-office charts with $441.5 million, behind only "Titanic" ($600.8 million) and the original "Star Wars" ($461 million).

The last movie to remain No. 1 for four consecutive weekends was "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" in late 2003 and 2004, according to box-office tracker Media By Numbers. That movie did it during a much slower time of year, with nowhere near the competition "The Dark Knight" has faced during Hollywood's busy summer season.

"It's almost unheard of. Summer doesn't usually afford films that much of a wide-open playing field," said Paul Dergarabedian, president of Media By Numbers.

"The Dark Knight" should surpass "Star Wars" to become No. 2 on the revenue chart by this coming weekend.

However, the numbers reflect today's higher admission prices, and "The Dark Knight" will not approach "Star Wars" or "Titanic" in terms of actual number of tickets sold. Taking inflation into account, "The Dark Knight" would need to pull in about $900 million to match the number of tickets sold for "Titanic" and about $1.2 billion to equal "Star Wars."

Even so, "The Dark Knight" has far outdone even its studio's expectations. Dan Fellman, head of distribution for Warner Bros., said he would have been happy if the movie simply exceeded the $205 million domestic total of its predecessor, "Batman Begins."

It should top out at $510 million to $520 million, Fellman said.

"It has taken on a life of its own, and in doing so got so much positive press and word of mouth that older audiences who normally don't rush out to see movies or maybe only see two, three movies a year are coming out in large numbers," Fellman said. "It's a question of `We've been reading about this for three, four weeks now. Let's go see what it's all about.'"

Since opening Wednesday, Sony's "Pineapple Express" had taken in $40.5 million. The action comedy stars Seth Rogen as a pot smoker on the run from crooks after he witnesses a murder, with his lovably clueless dealer (James Franco) in tow.

While "Pineapple Express" was unable to dislodge "The Dark Knight," Sony executives were happy with a strong No. 2 finish given the juggernaut the Batman flick has become.

"Quite frankly, it's nice to know that everything else is still kind of doing some business," said Rory Bruer, Sony head of distribution. "We're so very satisfied to be at $40 million-plus after five days. You couldn't ask for more."

The weekend's other wide release, the Warner Bros. sequel "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2," opened at No. 4 with $10.8 million, raising its total to $19.7 million since debuting Wednesday.

The movie reunites gal pals America Ferrera, Amber Tamblyn, Alexis Bledel and Blake Lively as the foursome whose friendship is reinforced by the worn pair of pants they share.

Estimated ticket sales for Friday through Sunday at U.S. and Canadian theaters, according to Media By Numbers LLC. Final figures will be released Monday.

1. "The Dark Knight," $26 million.

2. "Pineapple Express," $22.4 million.

3. "The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor," $16.1 million.

4. "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2," $10.8 million.

5. "Step Brothers," $8.9 million.

6. "Mamma Mia!", $8.1 million.

7. "Journey to the Center of the Earth," $4.9 million.

8. "Hancock," $3.3 million.

9. "Swing Vote," $3.1 million.

10. "WALL-E," $3 million.

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